Artemis Fowl and the Atlantis Complex af-7 Read online

  Butler had been at something of a loose end since leaving Artemis’s side. For more than fifteen years he had spent the vast bulk of his time engaged in Artemis-related activities. Finding himself virtually alone in business class on a transatlantic flight with several hours of enforced downtime, he could not sleep for worrying about his sister, and so his mind naturally drifted to Artemis.

  His charge had changed recently-there was no doubt about it. Since his return from saving endangered species in Morocco last year, there had been a definite mood swing. Artemis seemed less open than usual, and usually he was about as open as a Swiss vault at night. Also, Butler had noticed that Artemis seemed obsessed with the placement of objects, something Butler himself was very alert to, as he was trained to see everything in a building as a potential weapon or shrapnel fragment. Often Artemis would enter a room that his bodyguard had already swept and cleared and start moving things back to where they had been. And Artemis’s speech seemed off somehow. Artemis generally spoke in sentences that were almost poetic, but lately he seemed to care less about what he said than how many words it took to say it.

  As the Boeing began its descent into Atlanta, Butler decided that he would go to Artemis Senior as soon as he made it back to Fowl Manor and make a clean breast of his concerns. While it was undeniably his job to protect Artemis from danger, it was difficult to do that when the danger came from Artemis himself.

  I have protected Artemis from trolls, goblins, demons, dwarf gas, and even humans, but I cannot guarantee that my skill set will save him from his own mind. Which makes it imperative that I find Juliet and bring her home as soon as possible.

  Butler eventually grew tired of the traffic’s crawl down Cancún’s main strip and decided that he would make better time on foot. He pulled over sharply into a taxi lane and, ignoring the indignant cries of the drivers, set off past the rows of five-star hotels at a brisk jog.

  Locating Juliet would not be difficult: her face was splashed all over dozens of downtown banners.

  LUCHASLAM! FOR ONE WEEK ONLY AT THE GRAND THEATER.

  Butler did not much care for Juliet’s picture on the banners. The artist had twisted her pretty face to make his sister seem more aggressive, and her stance was obviously just for show. It might look good on a poster, but it was all wrong, and left her wide open for a hook to the kidneys.

  Juliet would never approach an adversary in that way.

  His sister was the best natural fighter he had ever seen, and too proud to ask for help unless there was no other option available to her, which was why her message was so worrying.

  Butler jogged two miles without breaking a sweat, weaving through throngs of revelers, until he arrived at the glass-and-stucco façade of the Grand Theater. A dozen or so red-jacketed doormen clustered around the automatic doors, nodding and smiling at the crowd hurrying in for the main event.

  Around the back, he decided. The story of my life.

  Butler skirted the building, thinking that it would be nice, just once, to go in the front door. Maybe he would in another lifetime, when he got too old for this business.

  How old do I have to be? he wondered. Come to think of it, with all the time travel and fairy healings, I’m not even sure how old I actually am anymore.

  As soon as Butler reached the back door, he put all other thoughts from his mind, apart from the job at hand. Get to Juliet, find out what trouble she was in, and extricate her with minimal collateral damage. There were still ten minutes before the show was scheduled to start, so with a little luck he could nab his sister before the room got too crowded.

  The only security on the back door was a single surveillance camera. Luckily, the Grand was a straight theater and not the convention room of a resort hotel, or there would have been a cluster of pools at the back door, along with crowds of tourists, a salsa band, and possibly half a dozen undercover private cops. As it was, Butler slid unnoticed into the theater and simply waved at the camera on the way in, effectively covering his face.

  Butler did not meet a shred of opposition on his way through the theater’s backstage area. He passed a couple of costumed wrestlers sharing an electrolytic drink, but they barely spared him a glance, probably assuming he was one of them. Big and dumb, by the look of him-the bad guy.

  Like most theaters, the Grand had miles of corridors and back passages that had not shown up on the blueprints Butler had downloaded on his smartphone from Artemis’s interpedia, which had a dedicated blueprint site containing any plans that had ever been uploaded and quite a few that Artemis had stolen and uploaded himself. After several wrong turns, even Butler’s excellent sense of direction was failing him, and the big bodyguard was tempted to simply punch through walls and create the shortest route to where he wanted to go: the performers’ dressing room.

  Butler finally arrived at the dressing room door just in time to see the tail end of the wrestling squad winding their way through to the stage, looking like sections of a Chinese dragon in all their Lycra and silk. After the last wrestler slipped through, a barrier of meat and muscle in the shape of two enormous bouncers closed across the backstage doors.

  I could take them, thought Butler. That would not be a problem, but it would only leave me seconds to find Juliet and get her out of here, and, knowing my sister, she will want to conduct a complicated and ultimately meaningless conversation before she’s ready to go. I need to think like Artemis, like the Artemis of old, and play this calmly. Blundering in is likely to get both of us killed.

  Butler heard the howls and whoops of the crowd as the wrestlers entered. The noise was muffled through the double doors, but clearer from the dressing room. He poked his head inside and saw a monitor bracketed to the wall, displaying the action in the ring. Convenient.

  Butler stepped close to the screen and searched for his sister. There she was, at the corner of the ring, performing some ostentatious warm-ups that were more for show than actual effect. If Butler could have seen his own normally taciturn features at that moment, he would have been surprised by the fond, almost sleepy, smile that lingered on his face.

  It’s been too long since I’ve seen you, little sister.

  Juliet did not seem to be in any immediate danger; in fact, she appeared to be relishing the crowd’s attention, raising her arms for more applause and whipping the jade ring on her ponytail around in figures of eight. The crowd loved her too. Several young men waved banners bearing Juliet’s image, and a few were bold enough to shower her with confetti hearts. Butler frowned. He would definitely be keeping an eye on those particular young gentlemen.

  Butler allowed himself to relax a little, a loosening of the fingers, which perhaps five people in the world would have noticed. He was still on high alert, but could admit to himself now that his darkest fear had always been that he would arrive too late.

  Juliet is alive. And healthy. Whatever the problem is, we can solve it between us.

  He decided then that the most prudent course of action would be to observe from this vantage point. He had a clear view of the wrestling ring, and, if necessary, he could be by his sister’s side in seconds.

  The opening match was started by an old-fashioned ringside bell, and Juliet leaped high, landing catlike on the top rope.

  “Princesa! Princesa!” chanted the audience.

  A favorite with the crowd, thought Butler. Of course she is.

  Juliet’s opponent was obviously the villain of the piece. A humongous woman with buzz-cut bleached hair and a costume of bloodred Lycra.

  “Boo!” called the crowd.

  Like most wrestlers on the luchador circuit, the huge newcomer wore a mask that covered her eyes and nose and was tied at the back with some nasty-looking barbed wire, which Butler suspected was actually plastic.

  Juliet seemed like a doll in comparison, apparently outmatched. A little of the cockiness drained from her masked face, and she appealed to her corner for assistance, but was met with shrugged shoulders from a stereotypical flat-cappe
d trainer who could have been recruited from the set of a wrestling movie. This match is all scripted, Butler realized. There’s no danger here.

  He pulled a chair up to the screen and settled to watch his sister.

  The first round was gentle enough on Butler’s nerves. Then, in the second round, Juliet strayed a little close to her opponent and was pounced on with surprising speed.

  “Oooh,” cried most of the crowd. “Snap her in two, Samsonetta!” called a few less charitable observers.

  Samsonetta, thought Butler. It suits her.

  He was not worried at this point. There were at least a dozen ways for Juliet to break Samsonetta’s hold, as far as he could see. Most she could do without even using her hands. One would be theoretically possible by combining a fake sneeze with a sudden drop.

  Butler started to worry when he noticed a dozen men in trench coats sidling along the far wall toward the ring.

  Trench coats? In Cancún? Why would anyone wear a trench coat in Mexico unless they were concealing something?

  The picture was too grainy for Butler to garner much detail, but there was something about these guys and the way they moved. Purposeful, devious, sticking to the shadows.

  I’ve got time, Butler reasoned, already putting together his plan. This could be nothing, but it could be everything. I can’t take chances with Juliet’s life at stake.

  He glanced around the dressing room to see if there was anything he could use as a weapon. No such luck. All he could find were a couple of chairs, plenty of glitter and mascara, and a barrel of old costumes.

  I won’t be needing the glitter or mascara, thought Butler, reaching into the costume barrel.

  Juliet Butler was feeling a little claustrophobic in the arms of her opponent.

  “Come on, Sam,” she hissed. “You’re suffocating me.”

  Samsonetta stamped flat-footed on the canvas, sending hollow booms bouncing around the auditorium, while at the same time making a show of squeezing Juliet’s neck.

  “That’s the idea, Jules,” she whispered, her Stockholm accent stretching the vowels. “I whip up the crowd, remember? And then you take me down.”

  Juliet turned her face to the three-thousand-strong crowd, delivering a dramatic howl of pain.

  “Kill her!” screamed the nice ones.

  “Kill her and then snap her in two!” screamed the not-so-nice ones.

  “Kill her, snap her in two, and stamp on the pieces!” howled the downright nasty audience members, usually easily identifiable by the violent slogans on their T-shirts, and the drooling.

  “Careful, Sam. You’re moving my mask.”

  “And such a pretty mask too.”

  Juliet’s entire outfit was pretty enough to make her a crowd favorite. A jade skintight leotard, and a small eye mask, which was actually a gel-pack covered with glitter.

  If I have to wear a mask, Juliet had reasoned, it might as well be good for my skin.

  They prepared for Samsonetta’s trademark takedown: an overhead drop, helped along by the power of her amazing arms. Usually if her opponents had so much as a spark of energy left in them after that maneuver, Sam simply fell on them, and that generally did the trick. But since Juliet was the crowd’s favorite, the move was not planned to go as usual. A wrestling audience liked to see their hero as far down as possible without being out.

  Sam advertised the move by asking the crowd if they wanted the body slam.

  “Do you vant it?” she shouted, playing up her accent.

  “Yes!” they howled, beating the air with their fists.

  “The body slam?”

  “Slam!” they chanted. “Slam! Slam!”

  A few chanted other rougher slogans, but security soon zoned in on them.

  “You vant a slam! I vill slam!” Generally Samsonetta would have said I shall slam! But Max, the promoter/ manager of LuchaSlam, liked her to use ‘v’ instead of ‘w’ wherever possible, as for some reason it drove the crowd crazy.

  And so she bent backward and hurled the unfortunate Jade Princess toward the deck, and that would have been the end of it had not the Jade Princess somehow twirled in midair to land on her toes and fingertips, and that wasn’t even the impressive part. The impressive part was springing back up again and whipping her head around so the jade ring woven into her blond ponytail whacked Samsonetta in the jaw, landing the giantess flat on her back.

  Samsonetta whined and complained, rubbed her jaw to redden it, and rolled like a walrus on a hot rock.

  She was quite a performer, and for a moment Juliet worried that the jade ring had really hurt her, but then Sam threw her a secret wink, and she knew that they were still playacting.

  “Have you had enough, Samsonetta?” asked Juliet, springing nimbly to the top rope. “Would you like some more?”

  “No,” blubbed her supposed opponent, then decided to sneak another ‘v’ in for Max. “I vant no more.”

  Juliet turned to the audience. “Should I give her some more?”

  Oh no, said an imaginary audience. No more, that would be barbaric.

  But the real audience said things like:

  “Kill her!”

  “Take her downtown!” (Whatever that meant-they were already downtown.)

  “Show her the pain!” The pain being obviously more excruciating than just plain old pain.

  I love these people, thought Juliet, and launched herself off the top rope for the coup de grâce.

  It would have been a thing of beauty. A lovely double flip rounded off with a nice oooof-inducing elbow to the stomach, but someone came out of the shadows and snatched Juliet from the air, tossing her roughly into the corner of the ring. Several other silent, muscled attackers piled on top of Juliet until all that was visible of the girl was one green-clad leg.

  In the shadows, where he was watching behind one of the lighting rigs, Butler felt a sour ball of fear drop to the pit of his stomach, and muttered: “That’s my cue.”

  Which sounded an awful lot more flippant than he felt.

  The crowd was still applauding the unexpected arrival of the Ninja Squad luchadores in their trademark black costumes disguised by trench coats, who had doubtless shown up to avenge their master’s recent defeat at the hands and feet of the Jade Princess at QuadroSlam in Mexico City. Surprise guests often showed up unadvertised at the slams, but the entire Ninja Squad was an unexpected bonus.

  The ninjas were a writhing mass of pumping limbs, each member desperate to land a blow on the Jade Princess, and there was nothing the slight girl could do but lie there and absorb it.

  Butler entered the ring quietly. The element of surprise was often the difference between victory and defeat in against-the-odds situations, though if Butler were honest with himself he would admit that secretly he usually felt that the odds were in his favor, even in this case, where he was outnumbered twelve to one. Twelve to two if Juliet were still conscious, which was six to one, which was virtually even-stevens. A moment earlier Butler had felt a little self-conscious in the borrowed costume of fake bearskin leotard and mask, but now all embarrassment was forgotten as he clicked his brain into that cold space he called combat mode.

  These people are hurting my sister, he thought as a hot trickle of anger cracked his icy shell of professionalism.

  Time to go to work.

  With a growl that was totally in keeping with his Crazy Bear costume, Butler rolled into the ring under the bottom rope, stepped briskly across the canvas, and began laying into the ninjas with blatant economy of movement. There was no threatening monologue, not even a simple foot stamp to herald his arrival, which was hardly courteous. He simply dismantled the ninjas as though they were a Jenga stack.

  There followed thirty seconds of flailing limbs and high-pitched screaming that would have done hysterical teenagers at a boy-band concert proud, and then, finally, Juliet was uncovered.

  Butler saw that his sister was intact, and smiled behind the mask.

  “Hello there. I made it.” />
  And in response to her life being saved, Juliet jammed four rigid fingers into his solar plexus, driving the air from his body.

  “Aarrrk,” he grunted; then, “Whuueeeech.” Which was supposed to be What are you doing?

  A couple of the ninjas had recovered and tried a few of their stylized moves on their attacker, only to be rewarded with casual openhanded slaps.

  “Watch it,” snapped Butler, drawing breath once more and shooting the ninjas the evil eye. “I need a minute of family time.”

  Something flickered in the corner of Butler’s vision, moving with blurred, jittery speed. His left hand automatically shot out to grab the jade ring that was braided into his sister’s blond ponytail.

  “Wow,” said Juliet. “No one’s ever done that before.”

  “Really?” said Butler, dropping the jade ring. “No one?”

  Juliet’s eyes widened behind her mask. “No one except. . Brother, is that you?”

  Before Butler could reply, Juliet sidestepped and pole-axed with her forearm a ninja who may have been sneaking up on them, or may in fact have been trying to escape from what had become the ring of real pain as opposed to the ring of convincingly faked agony.

  “Didn’t you guys hear this man? We need family time!” The ninjas shrank back against the rope, whimpering.

  Even Samsonetta seemed a little concerned.

  “Brother, I’m in the middle of a grudge match. What are you doing here?” asked Juliet.

  It might have taken many people a few more minutes before they realized something was amiss, but not Butler. Years of protecting Artemis Fowl had taught him to catch the penny before it dropped.

  “Obviously you didn’t send for me. We need to leave so I can figure things out.”

  Juliet’s bottom lip hung sulkily, transporting Butler ten years into the past, when he’d forbidden her to shave her head.

  “I can’t just go. I’ve got fans expecting me to do cartwheels and give you the signature move.”